Tuesday, October 28, 2014

12 Things To Know Before Letting Go

12 Things To Know Before Letting Go
Oftentimes letting go has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength.  We let go and walk away not because we want the universe to realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.
And that’s what this short article is all about – realizing your worth, and harnessing this realization to identify the negative ideas, habits, and people in your life that you need to let go of.  Here are some points to consider:
  1. The past can steal your present if you let it. – You can spend days, weeks, months, or even years sitting alone in the darkness, over-analyzing a situation from the past, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could have or should have happened. Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor behind you and walk outside into the sunlight to get some fresh air.
  2. Not everyone, and not everything, is meant to stay. – There are things you don’t want to happen, but have to accept, things you don’t want to know, but have to learn, and people you can’t live without but have to let go.  Some circumstances and people come into your life just to strengthen you, so you can move on without them.  Read The Language of Letting Go.
  3. Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. – Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles.  Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost.  Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.
  4. Sometimes you just need to do your best and surrender the rest. – Don’t be too hard on yourself.  There are plenty of people willing to do that for you.  Tell yourself, “I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment.  And that is all I can expect of anyone, including me.”  Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do, even your mistakes.  Because even mistakes mean you’re trying.
  5. You are in control of one person, and one person only: yourself. – There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of your control.  Letting go in your relationships doesn’t always mean that you don’t care about people anymore; it’s simply realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.
  6. What’s right for you may be wrong for others, and vice versa. – Think for yourself, and allow others the privilege of doing so too.  We all dance to the beat of a different drum.  There are few absolute ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ in the world.  You need to live your life your way – the way that’s right for you.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
  7. Some people will refuse to accept you for who you are. – Always choose to be true to yourself, even at the risk of incurring ridicule from others, rather than being fake and incurring the pain and confusion of trying to be someone you’re not.  When you are comfortable in your skin, not everyone in this world will like you, and that’s okay.  You could be the ripest, juiciest apple in the world, and there’s going to be someone out there who hates apples.
  8. Relationships can only exist on a steady foundation of truth. – When there is breakdown in a relationship, you must have the hard conversation.  It may not be pretty and it may not feel good.  But if you are willing to listen and tell the truth, it will open up.  When you build relationships based on truth and authenticity, rather than masks, false perfection, and being phony, your relationships will heal, connect, and thrive.
  9. The world changes when you change. – Practice really seeing whatever it is you’re looking at.  You are today where your thoughts and perceptions have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts and perceptions take you.  If you truly want to change your life, you must first change your mind.  The world around you changes when you change.
  10. You can make decisions, or you can make excuses. – Life is a continuous exercise in creative problem solving.  A mistake doesn’t become a failure until you refuse to correct it.  Thus, most long-term failures are the outcome of people who make excuses instead of decisions. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
  11. It usually takes just a few negative remarks to kill a person’s dream. – Don’t kill people’s dreams with negative words, and don’t put up with those who do.  Don’t let people interrupt you and tell you that you can’t do something.  If you have a dream that you’re passionate about, you must protect it.  When others can’t do something themselves, they’re going to tell you that you can’t do it either; and that’s a lie.  These people are simply speaking from within the boundaries of their own limitations.
  12. Sometimes walking away is the only way to win. – Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who have proven that they are committed to misunderstanding you.  In other words, don’t define your intelligence by the number of arguments you have won, but by the number of times you have said, “This needless nonsense is not worth my time.”

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Bloggers, like all people, love to share the highlights of their lives. But I'm a person with self-doubt, worries, and stuff I need to figure out, just like anyone else. Who wants to read about that? Maybe you do. I want to share a set of realizations that have quite literally changed my life in the last few months. I learned some of these from others, but each one resulted in a pivotal aha moment that changed the way I see myself as a woman, daughter, and an aunt
  1. You are the sum of the five people most present in your life. So much of life is social, who you know, and who you most engage. This is under your control. Surround yourself with smart, interesting people who inspire you.
  2. There's a reason why some people achieve unlikely success and a big part of it is about how they approach their strengths and weaknesses.Some people spend so much more time focused on their weaknesses when that energy could be used to push your strengths to new heights. My husband wrote the book on this -- literally. He recently spoke to a group of venture capitalists about identifying people who are on the cusp of success. You can find his book here: High School Dropout to Harvard.
  3. You can make a living doing what you love. Once this starts happening to you, life opens up and you stop dreading Mondays. I never thought I could make a living as a writer and blogger and then one day I asked myself, "Why not me, why not now?" and so started this new adventure.
  4. Be grateful for everything. Since I shifted my attitude toward constant gratitude, good things keep coming into my life. When you're resentful, you're off the path. I say yes to seemingly small opportunities and they almost always lead to bigger ones.
  5. "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde. Do you want to be great in your career, in school, in blogging? Don't try to be someone else; they are the best person at being them. You are the best at being you.
  6. Invest in things that help you become the sharpest version of you.Maybe it's a new computer, a ticket to a conference, a book, or class. You will reap the returns.
  7. We're all just passing through.
  8. Some people, places, and events in your life are shipwrecks. Don't keep dragging them behind you. Cut them off and swim away.
  9. Never stop learning. I'm constantly reading books and consuming online media. I'm a fairly busy person, especially as a mom, but I even started taking a computer programming class, because it's a way of investing in myself.
  10. Love is the best motivation. For me, it's been motherhood -- I'm driven by an endless supply of love for my daughter. Love is the most renewable energy.
Blogging sometimes feels like I'm sending messages out in a bottle. I hope this one is read by the person who needs it.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Great Ocean Road

One month has past, and I just realize I have never posted my Great Ocean Road trip onto blog yet. OK. Here are the breath-taking pictures of the trip in Australia.

When I look back and summarizes the most impressive trips I made, I get a list:

Monday, January 24, 2011

What You Should Know About Tips in Life: Too beautiful and simple, share with you.Give p...

What You Should Know About Tips in Life: Too beautiful and simple, share with you.

Give p...
: "Too beautiful and simple, share with you. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to...."
Too beautiful and simple, share with you.

  1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
  2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
  3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
  4. When you say, ‘I love you,’ mean it.
  5. When you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ look the person in the eye.
  6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
  7. Believe in love at first sight.
  8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.  
  9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely. 
  10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.  
  11. Don’t judge people by their relatives. (Amen to that!)
  12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
  13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’
  14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
  15. Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze.  
  16. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
  17. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.  
  18. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.  
  19. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
  20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.  
  21. Spend some time alone.